My Anorexia Story (Graphic Content)



After I’ve long racked my brain about whether I want to film this video and if I can and even want to share such personal images and videos with you at all, I decided to do it anyway. I hope to be able to tell you my story and that I can create a memory of this difficult period of my life for myself and my future.

Please note that I am still struggling with anorexia, but as I said I’ll go to a clinic in a few days. I am incredibly scared but will do my best and try to stay positive.

Thank you for your support and respectful comments.

Much love.💖

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I also just noticed that I‘ve now reached 53k here on YouTube! Thank you all so much – it means the world to me!

43 thoughts on “My Anorexia Story (Graphic Content)

  1. Thank you all so much for your encouraging and incredibly kind comments. I wish I could put into words, how much this kind of support means to me. ❤️🙏🏼

  2. you are SO strong for sharing your story, i hope everything goes well, sending you lots of love and patience<3

  3. I can relate I'm suffering from anorexia and it's caused depression you can't tell by my laughing and pretending to be happy nobody in my family know's I cry in bed everyday I'm alway's hungry but can't make myself to eat

  4. I thank you for your honesty and openness about your awful condition
    You must have an inner strength to be able to talk about it so publicly
    Your guitar playing brings so much joy
    I wish you all the best on your journey 💜🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

  5. I have had a fiancé, just born near Naples, but she always lived in Milan..! Milan, unfortunately, is notoriously, one of those cities, famous for everything about the fashion and modeling business; so to meet criminally underweight international models (…Besides, all the fake collective campaigns and fake individual statements, the business wants/pretends them so; it makes cash mainly on a wide spectrum of insecurities and complexes..!) all along the city and mainly in the tube/subway wagons, was/is very easy and common..! So, she was forced to meet, to face, every day, or many times a day, such exponents of the "imaginary world's successful model/dima/canon"; subconsciously and consciously, continuously confronting herself with that unhealthy and sick standards, and increasingly developing "obvious, strongly triggered complexes"..! A certain summer she ended betroth with Me (…She previously loved Me, but secretly, platonically, since she was a early teenager..!), so I went to Milan; one day she shown Me some of her "posing pictures", the nowadays so called selfies, where she was posing with an uncommon and of course unhealthy thinness, and according with her telling, her diet of less of few years before, was more or less just about some cups of yogurt and some cucumbers, and apparently that wasn't a big problem for her family, and especially for her mother..! I started to take care of her, very afraid of some "complexes return", putting down My best efforts in the "cooking for/with love" sort of field, preparing the most tasty recipes/dishes for her, as a surprise, when we'd come back home from her school (…Even if quite far from her house, I also used to escort her to the school, and back to home..!)..! When her mother discovered what I "arbitrarily" usually did, for her and her little sister, she started to be increasingly nervous and upset, for My "excessive, not required, nor authorized food care, and behavioural influence"..! Maybe, she was afraid that she had lost her "decisions/suggestions maker in charge" family's rank..! P.S. Then everything started to turn bad and sick, in general about our love affair, and I was quite exhausted and consumed, and we, finally broke definitely our love story..! Of course, even today, I am proud of Myself for that: "…too much food and care…"..! P.P.S. So, in synthesis, My suggestion was and still is: "…fuck-off, to all the sick, subliminally dictating, habits, trends and standards…"..! P.P.P.S. I am by your side, Melanie, in your re-ascending, "life: part two" tenacious journey..!

  6. Courage force persévérance musique….
    Ta vidéo est extrêmement touchante et courageuse

  7. Hi Melanie, never, never give up. You have taken the correct step. God bless you, you will come out stronger as you have the power to beat this. You are one brave young lady with big dreams. All of the best.

  8. It takes guts to come out with that deeply personal stuff, Melanie. Mucho respecto to you for having that courage. Recognising how serious the problem is and being prepared to willingly try to overcome it is a colossal leap in the right direction. Your video will help others in a similar situation. Thank you for sharing your story, and thank you for the joy you spread with your guitar playing. That expression on your face when you close your eyes and feel the music you play is just priceless and warms my heart. Sending you regards, support lots of good vibes from Australia! 🇦🇺

  9. Best wishes to you Melanie Celine.
    Thanks for sharing your story. We all want to see you get better.
    Van Morrison's Warm Love, to you and your mom and dad.
    Gentle wind and following seas in your journey Melanie. ⚓
    🤜🤛

  10. I am 53 years old, and even today, I carry several emotional problems since childhood.

    Just a month before the pandemic I started "trying" to play the guitar, that new hobby and YouTube took me to your channel.

    I think you are an incredibly brave person, in addition to your enormous talent and sensitivity to play the guitar, and just as you help and motivate with the guitar, you help and motivate with your story, your strength, your courage and your sincerity.

    Just say thank you. I wish I could send you all the strength you need. 💪🎸🤍

  11. I wish you could see yourself as I see you ; as others see you ; as you really are . I know , that's easy to say for a silly old man like me , but please hang in there . This nasty old world needs beautiful souls like you . Hearing your beautiful music while seeing your beautiful , soulful face touched me , and I thank you for it . God Bless .

  12. Napisze to w języku Polskim . . . .
    nigdy nie zauważyłem U Ciebie że jesteś czy Byłaś Chorobliwie Szczupła.
    jesteś Piękna Kobieta i Masz Piękny Talent do Muzyki . 3 mamy kciuki i Pracuj nad Gitarą a Spełnia się Wszystkie Marzenia 😊

  13. Stay strong.
    You said the most important part at the end.
    You are worth it.

    You have so much to look forward to in life. The world is a beautiful place and you are here to enjoy it and pass it on when you’re ready for a family. When you have your own family you will realize how much more beautiful the world is.

  14. I think that you are heading on the right path. And if you continue with this mindset and surround yourself with the right people. I think you'll find that this is an episode in your life that you can look back on and think, "look where i were then and look where I am now".

  15. Melanie, I'm watching you play guitar. You are so delicate, You play with all your heart. I could see you were very thin but I did not know how big battle you won. I am very proud of you.
    I am sending greetings and I wish you good luck!
    Jan from Poland

  16. Never ever feel sorry ever. Youre parents seem like amazing people and they wil understand and understand this was out of youre hands. I wish you so much luck. This was a amazing video and brought perfectly. 100% you helped others with this video. Not only are you a amazing guitar player you are also very smart and i think hyper sensitive. You are good people. Wish you all the best with youre journey to fight this demon inside of you. And you know what i think you can. If you can out the passion from youre guitar playing in youre journey to be healty all wil be fine. Good luck best wishes and thank you for sharing youre story and helping others

  17. I wish you the best on your journey. I’ll be praying for you. I enjoy all of your guitar videos. Sending much love your way. Wish I could wrap you in a big hug and make it all better but with God’s help and your willingness to accept it I’m sure you can get better. 😘😘😘😘

  18. E dura anche mia figlia ne soffre bisogna vivere anche con un kilo in più siete sempre meravigliose

  19. Приезжай в Россию, мы тебя поправим, и вернёшься домой уже нормальной

  20. Всегда удивлялся твоей худобе, как ты можешь ещё держать гриф?? Кушай сколько можешь, получай удовольствие, и наконец вернёшься в свой вес

  21. Your awesome and very very brave young woman and your guitar playing in a league of its own thank you

  22. I want so much to be encouraging, supportive and respectful, with my comments, so here goes: Melanie, in watching this incredibly courageous video, I can feel your pain and that yearning to be able to transfer your braveness and insight into healthier behavior and a more positive image of yourself! I'm sure your friends and loved ones are proud of your decision to enter the clinic and relieved of some worry. I believe you will make progress…of course you won't be perfect b/c nobody is…Progress Not Perfection (we all torture ourselves with the 'not-good-enough' thinking. Remember, you've done better in the past, so you can do better in the future. I know you probably don't have a lot of faith that thing will improve AND stay improving, but I have faith that they will. This is the time for YOU to believe! Now, as a parent…please try to believe what I'm sure your parents have expressed, that parents, good parents, are always immeasurably concerned about their children and put that concern above anything even close to blaming you for having a disease or for the stress and worry that they feel. As parents, we will worry and feel stress…that is what we signed up for! Just as parents would never blame their child for having cancer, we don't blame for anorexia (I know it's tempting to draw a distinction with sometimes so-called "behavioral" disorders, but I do not). My intent is to help you lower your guilt a bit, b/c guilt is so damagingly irrational. And the last thing in this long comment I'll wish for you is that you gain a gradually greater degree of self-forgiveness.

  23. My respect for your story and the courage to publish all this. Stay on top of it and I hope the music will give you the energy to continue, greetings from Germany.

  24. Behind every eating disorder there is a mental issue. Everything starts in your mind. The most important step is to realize that you have a problem and need to make a change. I'm glad to hear that you finally understood that the time to make that change has come.

  25. Your an incredibly brave and beautiful young lady god bless you and I hope your recovery is fast and as painless as it can possibly be one step at a time, music is your comfort zone and I sincerely hope you find it in yourself to be free from all this hurt xx

  26. when someone as magical as you falls into such a hard mental process, … the important thing is that when you hit the bottom, you can push yourself only upwards, towards total healing, towards recovering your health and delighting us with your Art, you are music , you are unique and unrepeatable, and we want to see you totally healthy for music, to pay to see you on stages around the world … to see you with David Gilmour as a guest at one of your concerts. Melanie, you can overcome everything, gain strength, lean on your family and the Love of all your fans 💪🎸💕

  27. Well done Melanie. It’s a hard road for you but the journey is worth it. You’re worth it. Best wishes.

  28. You can do it! Hope to see more music from you as well, take as much time as you need to! Care for yourself that’s most important

  29. You are an incredibly strong woman. You will get through this. My thoughts are with you. Thank you for sharing.

  30. I'm glad you took the courage to talk about this. No matter how big or small the change is it all starts by first talking about it. I hope this helped you and gets you doing more and more things you love in life.

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